


a fatal flaw.

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Lingard hecked up, M/M, mentions of suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ""You didn't back him up."Her words, the five of them, rip him apart faster than he can do it himself.And then the fucked up reality of his actions hit him like a train.Now, thanks to his cowardice, there would only be three leaders leading New Frontier instead of four."A short piece on what went on with Lingard right after the ending of EP 3.





	a fatal flaw.

**Author's Note:**

> Lingard was Gay for David, okay...

a fatal flaw.

* * *

 

" _You didn't back him up_."

Her words are venomous.  
Acidic.  
Furious.  
His body curls in revolution at it, and it doesn't sit well with him at all.  
Swallowing her words tastes like the bile that Lingard had been struggling to keep down since that fateful meeting between the then four leaders. They go rancid instantly in his mind when it gets there, and corrodes any cool composition he'd been trying to keep up since it all went to shit. Her words, the five of them, rip him apart faster than he can do it himself.  
And then the fucked up reality of his actions hit him like a train.  
Now, thanks to his cowardice, there would only be _three_ leaders leading New Frontier instead of _four_.  
David would be dead by dawn, they were sure of it. Joan would be the type to put him down like a dog who'd only attacked out of self defense-- unjustly labeled a danger to himself and everyone around him. She would be sure to swiftly throw the bad apple out before it turned the rest of the bunch rotten.  
Paul believed in David's innocence. Believed that David did not deserve this outcome. He was on David's side, in his head surely, but the words that came out in the moment didn't express that.  
" _I'm sorry, David, but my hands are tied._ "  
He'd chosen to sit to the side again. A coward's move. Lingard chose to remain neutral on the matter at hand, and watch as they hauled his only will to live out of those doors-- to God knows where.  
"Ava, you don't know what it's like to be in that position." His eyes are red and glossy with tears. His head hurts like hell. His chest is inflamed with a self hatred that only David knew how to settle.  
"Like fuck I do." Ava's corralled him into a figurative corner. The young lieutenant is almost god sized in this moment. Her words pack enough divine judgement to make it almost fitting that she'd be seen that way. "David _begged_ for your help. You were the only person he had left to turn to with this. _You_ could have turned the tides into his favor-- but you _didn't_."  
" _Ava_." Lingard hunches over his desk, breath shallow and quick. His eyes squeeze shut, and his nails dig into the wood. " _Please_ , stop."  
"You left him out there to _die_ , Paul!" She screamed. He's never heard her scream. He's never heard her get this loud, this passionate. Then again, it's not something that should surprise him. Ava was David's right hand man, and she remained loyal to him like a military dog-- teeth bared at all times to those with their sights set on bringing David down. This outcome, with David's downfall inevitable at this point, is no doubt eating her alive. "David _trusted_ you. Not only were you the last person left in that room who had the power to make things different-- but you willingly let David down in his time of need." And she falls silent for just a moment. Her voice then goes almost meek. "Did the last four years of his loyalty to you mean _nothing_ at all?"  
There it was.  
The straw that would break the camel's back.  
"I _loved_ David!" He screamed. His words echoed through the halls, and Lingard finds that he doesn't care who hears it. David would be dead soon, anyways, and so would Lingard at this rate-- what would if matter if they knew? "Don't you _dare_ insinuate that I don't care for him. I _loved_  that man more than words could convey. He means more to me than anythin' in this world! He--" Paul chokes. Hot tears fall down his cheeks and his teeth grit with frustration and grief.  
He's lost so much already. He's lost the only family he had left before the outbreak-- His husband and confidant of many years. He's lost colleagues. Friends. He's lost himself in the midst of the turmoil of the end of the world.  
All he had in this existence was the man named David García. Someone who'd made him see that life was worth living. That building roots in others lives as they did the same for you, and falling in _love_ , was what made you _human_.  
David reminded him that all of that _mattered_.  
But that would all soon be ripped away because of his own faults.  
"If you loved him so much, why didn't you side with him when he needed you the most?"  
_If you loved him so much._  
If you loved him.  
If.   
Lingard stared down at his cracked nails, some bleeding slightly.  
"I was scared."  
It's a quiet admission. Almost inaudible. But Ava's heard him loud and clear.  
"You were scared?" There's half incredulity in her voice, and half of it seems to not be surprised.  
" _Terrified_." He took off his glasses and set them to the side. "Ava, you fail to realize that that's what I am. A _coward_. I fear being thrown into the midst of conflict more than I fear death itself."  
"Well," Ava hissed. "You better share some of that fearlessness of death with David. Because that's exactly what he's going to meet because you were too much of a coward to save him." She turns on her heel and starts out. "I hope you can live with being responsible for killing the man you claim to love so much."  
She's gone before he can reply. The office is quiet. Lingard feels himself go cold. His body aches.  
He needs a hit.  
"...Can I live with this?" Lingard echoed sadly. The silence that fills the room in Ava's absence is killing him. For a moment, he wants to go after her and tell her to stay and keep screaming. But he knows she wouldn't entertain him with that.  
He yearns to get David and fill the space with his familiar atmosphere. But that wouldn't happen. It would never happen again.  
And it was all Paul's fault.  
"No... I could _never_ live with _this_." He croaks out hoarsely. "Nor, could I  _ever_ live with _myself_."  
The sun is setting, slowly turns the office dark. His chest hollows out. His body grows heavy where it stands. And the reality of everything sinks in, slowly dragging him down to a gross part in his mind that he wanted so desperately to hide from. David knew exactly how to pull him out of this.  
But David wasn't here anymore.  
Lingard sighed wearily.  
"And I could _never_... live without _him_."


End file.
